About composing

A big composer is much like a beginner

As I have during the last year composed some tens of short melodies, only a few of then more than one row long, I have looked the task of composing from the point of view of a beginner. I have just liked music and dreamed of learning to compose, and so I have played the melodies in a songbook from the point of view of in which situation and in which way they were composed, what atmospohere was it,and so I have learned quite many things about composing. But my own tunes are more like first attempts: oh, like this one gets this kind of result. But I am not sure if composers can at all reach the prtofessional quality one expects from them, since if you take a work like attitude you ruin the atmosphere, you cannot compose a good piece then. And if you get a reputation that your view of something is like some first melody of yours or song, then you get such back to you from others, and so the thing becomes simple, less fascinating. On the other hand singers and sport practitioners have some wisdom of life in this direction, likewise some kind of civiliced wisdom and some religious kinds of things and nature ofcourse.

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2nd of August 2020   I do not know why but during the last months I haven't had space for composing and not for writing either, even though that has been my work for the last twenty years. And during the summer I haven't had peace for composing at all, and not even played every day like earlier I did. So I wonder if I did something wrong, choose something wrong. And one guess is that maybe many composers are quite beginners, maybe I am in some way a good composer anyway.